She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
