It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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