Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
