so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
