There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
