Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
