Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
