i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
