i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
