4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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