He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize