Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize