It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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