She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
