Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
