Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
