This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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