We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
