Sry I called you an 8
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
