New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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