Me. At least after what I've been through.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
