our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize