Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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