Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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