Someone shit on the floor
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
