Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
