i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
