I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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