Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Barsexuality is the new black.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
