Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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