Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
