dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
