The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize