Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
