I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
my liver is dry heaving
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
