its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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