she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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