my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize