Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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