i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
