Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
