I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
