Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
