Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
