I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize