Kareoke will never be a sober sport
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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