Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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