Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
