I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
