all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My ass is underappreciated
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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