she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
