Im at strip club and am horny
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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