Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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