And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
