I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
