Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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