his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
