Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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