nutella sex= disaster
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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